Honoring Our Goddess Time

Last night I had the privilege to be part of a Goddess Gathering in Topanga Canyon, Los Angeles.  The drive through windy roads, the smell of fresh air, and ascent up a Christmas-lit staircase twenty-five feet to the front door was enough to light my magic match & make me want to move in ~

We nourished ourselves with potluck food, we sat on cushions in a circle by candlelight, breathing through our chakras, sharing what we were letting go of & bringing into our lives, sharing the successes, celebrations, & joys, & stating our next intentions. 

We also watched the trailer to a stunningly gorgeous film, Things We Don’t Talk About.  If you haven’t seen this trailer yet, check it out here.  It will make you cry, it will make you want to celebrate & gather together all women dear to you.   If you’ve read Anita Diamant’s book The RedTent, this is essentially what the documentary is about:  women coming together to share, celebrate, & heal.

I arrived at the event with books & business cards in hand.  I was there to network, to promote my books & business, to network around housing in LA, etc. 

What I found was I kept filling my plate at the potluck table.  More kale salad, one more raw chocolate, & blue corn chips with organic cheese.  What was I trying to nourish?  In all the excitement of moving out to California & finding/ creating my way, I have been so in the masculine.  Business owner, driver across the country, & back & forth from San Francisco/ Santa Cruz to L.A.  Figuring out where my next paycheck is coming from, longing for a lover/ love.  Longing for someone to just hold me/ heal me/ to unpack my burden & breathe.   

Yes, I am a feminist.  I believe women are people too, and we all have human rights as citizens of this planet.  This is what feminism, at its heart, is to me.  & Yes, I enjoy being a business owner.  I enjoy the freedom of being a single, unencumbered woman, free to travel, to have love affairs, to do as I choose, to be in charge, to be a leader & a player in creating our world, to be in the conversation about business & marketing, to be and do whatever & however I choose.  However, I am also ready to receive.  I am ready to receive love, I am ready to receive money, I am ready to receive home, and I continue to be ready to receive gracious, powerful, healthy, creative, phenomenal community. 

Last night was a gift, and I am glad I set down my bags, took off my jacket, and sat down, breathing, sharing, being vulnerable, and listening.  We all need this.  No matter who we are. 

Debra Jill Mazer is a magna cum laude graduate of Brandeis University, with a B.A. in Sociology & Women’s Studies.  Using her degree to become a hippie New Age healer & Raw Food Chef, Debra currently offers a 6-month Holistic Health Coaching Program (your first session is free!!).  Author of Open-Eyed Heart-Wide Haggadah, for a transformative Passover, artist, dancer, singer, and more, Debra is based in a beautiful community in Santa Cruz, CA, and is currently housesitting in LA, where she will be working the Tadasana Festival, volunteering at AgapeRevelation Conference, and then heading onwards to the kitchen of Epic Eden HotSprings Retreat (phenomenal!!!! & a few spaces left ~ May 2-6, 2012) in Arizona.  

Stop Blaming, Start Educating - Catholic Identity and Abortion

As a woman and a Catholic, I'm very frustrated that diocesan churches preach the evils and horrors of abortion rather than teach ways to use love, care, and education to prevent unplanned or unwanted pregnancies or find loving homes for unwanted babies.  My fiance and I have discussed this at length and how being pro-choice both fits into our Catholic identity and does not make us pro-abortion.  I support a woman's right to choose, but I think we, as a society, could be doing more.

After much discussion with my fiancé, we have come up with an idea to reduce the abortion rate, thus creating a culture of life that is centered around Christ's primary teaching - love.  Neither of us have any experience in running a non-profit, though we both have volunteer experience, so this is where, hopefully, a blog can help us recruit others to help us with our mission. We are not sure what we would call our organization, but here is what we are all about.

First we would like to give boys and girls more education about sex before and during the onset of puberty, ideally between 4th and 7^th grade.  Sexuality is not something for children to be embarrassed or ashamed of, rather it is a part of how we identify ourselves and should be valued in all people.  Children need to be taught anatomically correct language and accurate scientific information regarding pregnancy.  Children should also be taught how to correctly use condoms and birth control, and told (*not taught because there isn't anything to teach besides one sentence) that the only way to 100% prevent unwanted or unplanned pregnancy is to practice abstinence.  I believe condoms and birth control should be used but that we need to break the myth that they are 100% effective.  Speaking from experience, I have a friend with three children who became pregnant with two of her children while she was on birth control, not knowing that their effectiveness decreases when taking other prescription drugs.

Second, we would like to empower young men and women to communicate their sexual wishes, or as I like to call it, teaching girls how to say "No means no."  This also means making females aware of situations that increase vulnerability that can lead to unwanted sexual contact or rape such as alcohol and or drug consumption, peer pressure, or being alone or isolated from peers.  This area also includes teaching young men what constitutes consensual sex versus what they are seeing in the media.  It also means viewing females as equals in terms of wants and desires, relating to the previous blog post about the misrepresentation of women.

The third and final area is dealing with unwanted or unplanned pregnancies in a way that fosters the female's mental health and physical health.  Domestic adoptions can be made more accessible (though I know little on this topic) and clinics that offer prenatal care can also offer free counseling services and access to networks. Young pregnant women can be partnered up with a mentor who can offer them advice on child-rearing and realistically discuss finances and family involvement.  Regardless of what young women decide, they need to know that we are a country that takes care of each other and that
their child's life is one of value.

In conclusion, this is not just a women's issue.  It is political, social, community based and media influenced.  A recent article in the New York Times (Feb. 17, 2012) by Jason Deparle and Sabrina Tavernise stated that 52% of babies born today in this country to women under 30 are to single women.  The study also cites major racial and educational imbalances related to this number.  As a nation, we need to stop passing the blame and start educating and taking action to help one another.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Deanna is a an early childhood educator with a degree in Communication from Temple University and a Masters in Education from Arcadia University.  She lives in Ardmore, PA.  For more information, please feel free to contact us at hello@womenscollaborativecircle.org and we will pass along your interests, thoughts and ideas to Deanna and her fiance Brian! 

Great New Website and Resource - Bedsider!

A new health campaign started by the Ad Council is aimed at preventing unwanted pregnancies and helping and empowering women find a method of birth control that is right for them.  Bedsider.org is a new website aimed to educate and empower women about their choices in birth control.  The U.S. has one of the highest rates of unplanned pregnancy in the entire developed world. Nearly one in ten unmarried young women (ages 20-29) has an unplanned pregnancy each year. This means fewer opportunities to complete their education or achieve other life goals, and increased health and social risks for mother and child.  Know your choices, ask questions and keep yourself safe while having fun! 

How Do You Flow?

From the new book Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation by Elissa Stein and Susan Kim...
                                                               

I bet you knew that Feminine Hygiene [is] a catch-all phrase for period products. But, not that long ago it meant deep cleansing of internal and external sexual body parts, often with harsh chemicals used to disinfect bathroom floors. Yes, you read that right. Just as you would scrub a toilet or shower stall to get of those dangerous germs and stagnant dirt, women were encouraged to think about their bodies the same way. Advertising hit new scare tactic lows by convincing women that their marriages, their future happiness, even their husbands’ sexual well-being was at risk if they didn’t douche regularly.

In the 1930s, the US government hopped on that band wagon too, producing booklets detailing the importance of internal feminine cleanliness. Fortunately, checking for that cleanliness wasn’t part of any govermental job description.



For more unbelievable information found in the book Flow, check out their website http://www.flowthebook.com/!

Women on Top: Loving Ourselves to Love Others

This is a workshop offered by the WCC to facilitate knowledge of our sexual selves and understand how to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections.  Women on Top: Loving Ourselves to Love Others, was created  to raise awareness and encourage empowerment among women about women’s health and HIV prevention.

This workshop is designed to assess, educate and empower women’s understanding of HIV knowledge and the knowledge of the safer sex risk continuum. This interactive workshop will provide women a safe and open space to assess their knowledge of HIV/STD and risk reduction behaviors, as well as voice their concerns as it pertains to their sexual health, growth and development as women of all ages.

The goal of this workshop is to enable and support women to feel empowered around their sexual behaviors and choices. The activities will encourage women to think about their personal and sexual comfort zone, increase self-awareness around the limits of their personal choices while assisting them in negotiating and discussing these limits with their partners and within the context of their relationships.

 

If you are interested in the WCC presenting this workshop to meet the needs of a group at your place of work, college campus, women's center or religious organization, please contact us for more information - info@womenscollaborativecircle.org, we would love to work with you!

Your Revolution...More Sarah Jones!

Lyrics to Your Revolution :

(feat. Sarah Jones)

[Intro]
Yeah yeah, yeah this goes out to all the women and men from New York to
London to LA to Tokyo struggling to keep their self-respect in this climate
of misogyny, money worship and mass production of hip-hop's illegitimate child,
Hip-Pop. And this especially goes out to Gil Scott-Heron, friend, living legend
and proto-rapper who wrote "The Revolution will not be Televised." Much Respect.

[Verse]
Your revolution will not happen between these thighs
Your revolution will not happen between these thighs
Your revolution will not happen between these thighs
Not happen between these thighs
Not happen between these thighs
The real revolution ain't about booty size
The Versaces you buys, or the Lexus you drives
And though we've lost Biggie Smalls
Baby your notorious revolution
Will never allow you to lace no lyrical douche, in my bush
Your revolution will not be killing me softly, with Fugees
Your revolution ain't gonna knock me up without no ring
And produce little future emcees
Because that revolution will not happen between these thighs
Your revolution will not find me in the backseat of a jeep
With LL, hard as hell, you know doin it and doin it and doin it well
doin it and doin it and doin it well, nah come on now
Your revolution will not be you smacking it up, flipping it, or rubbing it down
Nor will it take you downtown or humpin around
Because that revolution will not happen between these thighs
Your revolution will not have me singing, ain't no nigga like the one I got
And your revolution will not be sending me for no drip, drip VD shot
And your revolution will not involve me, feelin your nature rise
Or helping you fantasize
Because that revolution will not happen between these thighs
No no, not between these thighs
Oh, my Jamican brother, your revolution will not make you feel bombastic
And really fantastic
And have you groping in the dark for that rubber wrapped in plastic
You will not be touching your lips to my triple dip of french vanilla,
butter pecan, chocolate delux
Or having Akinyele's dream, m-hmm a 6-foot blowjob machine m-hmm
You want to subjugate your queen? uh-huh
Think I'm a put it in my mouth, just cuz you made a few bucks?
Please brother please
Your revolution will not be me tossing my weave
And making me believe I'm some caviar-eating ghetto mafia clown
Or me giving up my behind, just so I can get signed
And maybe having somebody else write my rhymes
I'm Sarah Jones, not Foxy Brown
You know I'm Sarah Jones, not Foxy Brown
Your revolution makes me wonder, where could we go
If we could drop the empty pursuit of props and ego
We'd revolt back to our Roots, use a little Common Sense
On a quest to make love De La Soul, no pretense
But your revolution will not be you flexing your little sex and status
To express what you feel
Your revolution will not happen between these thighs
Will not happen between these thighs
Will not be you shaking and me *yawn* faking
Between these thighs
Because the real revolution, that's right I said the real revolution
You know I'm talking about the revolution
When it comes, it's gonna be real
It's gonna be real
It's gonna be real
When it finally comes
When it finally comes
It's gonna be real, yeah yea

***For more information about Sarah and her amazing work, activism and voice, visit her website - http://www.sarahjonesonline.com/*** 

Blazing Through The Blues - Blues Singers Shaping Black Conciousness

In her 1998 book Blues Legacies and Black Feminism, Angela Y. Davis outspoken social activist, feminist and trailblazer herself, uncovers an unusual source of conciousness-raising, the music of 1920's female Blues artists Gertrude "Ma" Rainey, Bessie Smith and Billie Holiday.  Davis not only uncovers the path that these women took to obtain independent financial freedom at a time when historically, women had little if no civil or domestic freedoms.  Davis also takes an important look wading through more prominant issues of racism, to study gender and sexuality about which these women were singing.  A prominant example of these women's work is Ma Rainey's "Prove It On Me," in which she sings about her gender identity and sexual desires for women.  Davis's central thesis is to say that the women Blues singers of the 1920's had a great impact on not only giving a voice to women of the era, but the larger social and political impact on shaping the general African-American conciousness. 

Vibrators for All

I am aware that we live in a sexually repressed society. I am even more aware of the fact that we live in a society where women's sexuality is not valued, validated or showcased in a positive way. However, I watched an episode of Oprah today that was truly enlightening. No, it was more like shock and awe!

First, let me say that I applaud Oprah for her work with Dr. Laura Berman in a series of episodes featuring topics around sex and sexuality for women in an empowering, educating and entertaining way. I was not entirely shocked to discover that women are uncomfortable discussing the topic of sex with their children. BUT... to hear comments from grown women that suggest that sexual feelings or desires should be something that should not necessarily always be "indulged," or that educating our daughters and girls about their bodies and natural sexual feelings may somehow cause more harm than good, are actually perpetuating many of societies ills and damaging social constructions about women! Simply not acknowledging our sexual identities, we are denying girls and women crucial opportunities and information to be empowered, confident, pleasured, happy, self-loving women!

Please, do not misunderstand me, I am not judging the women who bravely and candidly spoke up on this show (Oprah 4/9/09 - How to Talk to Your Kids about Sex with Dr. Laura Berman). This is a wake up call that we as women have A LOT more work to do! If there is any hope for women to - break the cycle of low-self esteem, self-hatred, depression, eating disorders, and most importantly interpersonal and sexual violence - it is imperative that we educate ourselves, our daughters, and all the girls and women we know about our bodies and minds! I believe that if we as women can honestly, safely and in a confident mindset understand our bodies, know that our genitals are called vulvas and our clitoris provides pleasure with or without a partner and that our sexuality holds a lot of POWER; we are better able to choose how, when, where and with whom we share our sexuality, making the world we live a better place.

FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE VISIT THE ABOVE LINKS or contact us with your questions!